Mutismo Selectivo - Selective Mutism - My daughter's journey

Mi niña bonita, ha pasado un año desde tu diagnostico, un largo año donde he visto improvements pero también he visto set back. Aun estoy orgullosa de ti, demasiado orgullosa baby, y me duele cuando veo que aun estas luchando con mutismo selectivo. El verano paso, fuiste a escuela bíblica vacacional y no hablastes con nadie :( pensé que lo harías pero no lo hicistes. En la calle hablas bien, ordenas tu helado y comida sola pero cuando es con personas que conoces no puedes. Pero no te preocupes mi amor, yo estoy aquí para apoyarte, sostenerte y ayudarte siempre. Ya consegumos el Plan 504 para tu scuela, creo que estoy contenta por eso. No se si te estoy acomodando pero se que mientras pueda hacerte sentir bien no importa lo que tenga que hacer. Ms. B te dijo que debes empezar a hablar, que tienes que crecer.. si ella supiera ja! yo se que esto va mas allá de ti mi amor y que tu lo lograras alguna dia. También tienes nueva terapista, Tamar se llama, ella es muy bonita y creo que t...

My dearest Suri,  Every single day you surprised me, you are so brave! Therapy is good. I think it is helping you. You talk to Samantha now in front of me. You also take challenges.  You had your very first recital on Saturday and you did excellent. You were just like any other girl. No fears, no anxiety, just you.. On Monday we went for an ice cream. You got an ice cream in a cup and I got an ice cream in a sugar cone. Then, you wanted my sugar cone and I said no. I said you should have asked for a cone if you wanted one (yes that was giddy lol). Anyway, I saw an opportunity to challenge you and I told you that if you want a sugar cone you have to go an order ir by yourself. And guess what? To my surprise you said you would do it. And you did it! I told you to speak loud so the cashier can hear you. The cashier was far away from our table and I could still hear you talking. I wanted to cry!!  Now I know that you would be able to do anything you want, anything you wish, ...

My beautiful princess, On May 4 we went to your uncle Edwin's house to celebrate your grandmother's bday. You saw Jimmy there but as always, you just played with him you did not talk. Yesterday, May 27, we went back to your uncle's house for a Memorial Day BBQ and out of nowhere you started talking to your cousin Jimmy, just like that, you were engaged in a full conversation. We are so proud of you princess. Everyday is a day closer to the day when you will be fully verbal, everywhere, every time. We love you <3 - God's got this.

My beautiful Suri, Each day is a big step, every little thing is a BIG STEP and I am here to cheer every single moment. May 10, 2019 is one for the books. We had our kids service in church and when we asked the girls who wanted to sing in the chorus you said you wanted to do it. Let me tell you something my dear Suri, I was not sure that you would be able to do it but I told you ok anyway. I just wanted to give you the chance to bring out that brave girl and go in front of everybody and sign! and oh my Lord, you did it, you sang and moved and enjoyed every moment of it. You look like a completely different girl, no fears, no anxiety, not shyness... I told you to close your eyes and pretend that you were in the bathroom singing by yourself but you did not even have to close your eyes, you were so brave enough to manage to sing in front of everybody. You also participated in the David and Goliath drama.  David was a young kid just like you and he could defeated a giant Goliath only ...

Hi my princess, So, this is the spring break week. On Tuesday, you and your friend Nina came to my work for Take Your Child To Work Day. I knew that you would not want to come alone and I tried to accommodate you, is this good or bad? I don't care haha... I just wanted you to feel comfortable and be yourself and I knew that having Nina around would help you and sure it did. I dropped you off in the NAC Ballroom at 8:55 am. Before that I spoke with you and assured you one more time that the scary monster stayed at home and he is in so much pain because your dad beat him up again. I told you that nobody knows you in that event and told you that you could be feel of pressure and anxiety, I told you that if you speak it would be so normal for everybody else there that you don't have to worry about people staring at you.. I told you a lot of things and I prayed so hard so God be with you and help you beat your fear. When I went to meet you for lunch I asked you if you talk.. an...

This is the email I got from Ms. Kim today. How proud I am to call myself your mother.  This Wednesday you meet with Samantha and she was so excited because you spoke with Ms Kim last Thursday and she gave you a new assignment:  1. You have to talk a little bit louder 2. You have to tell her about your gymnastics class 3. You have to talk to her outside her office You did all three. That is a big step and I know that every day we are a little bit closer to the day you become fully verbal and we can talk about SM and laughed about this because you beat the scary monster! Love you baby, you are the bravest girl in the world.  -God's got this. 

My Dearest Suri, How can I put into words the way I felt yesterday when Ms Kim (from your school) called me to share the great news with me! I think I wanted to cry (but I didn't ha! because I was at work). On Wednesday, March 6, we went to our weekly appointment with Samantha and while you were using the bathroom I told her that you did not speak in Ecuador at all. I was so sad because I saw how your anxiety reached the highest peak and she assured me that she expected that because that was a new environment for you, new people, new places, and I said ok, it makes sense, I will be patient. At the end of the session you came with her and she told me you told her about your beautiful time in Ecuador and all the places we went, you also told her about your unicorn birthday party and that you had fun! I was so glad you told her all of that. I saw in your face that you felt comfortable and that gave me hope. Samantha told me that you have an assignment for next week and gave me a ...

Hi princess, Happy 8th Birthday!!!! It was your birthday on Feb. 26 and now you are 8 years old but you will be my baby forever. We went to Ecuador on Feb. 19 and we celebrated your birthday party over there. You wanted unicorn theme and I did all I could to throw the most wonderful party for you.' You had fun but you did not talk :( Samantha told you that the scary monster would stay in NY and you will go to Ecuador so you won't be afraid of talking but I think you did not buy that. Your dad told you that he beat the monster up and that the monster is dead. I kept reminding you what you were supposed to tell the scary monster "Leave me alone" "you are not the boss of me" "I can talk to my friends if I want to" but you were scared. For the very first time I felt how you feel everyday. You enjoyed your party but did not talk to anyone. People thought it was because you speak english and kids over there speak spanish. I knew the truth, I cou...

Hi mi Suri bella, Last week, on Dec. 26th, you had a full conversation "in a normal voice" with Samantha... What a brave girl I have!!!!!! She told me that she is using brave charts and every session goes from the lowest to the highest and on December 26 you were able to go up all the way to the highest task. Samantha told me that you told her about your favorite show in YouTube Jacey and Kacey and told her about your upcoming birthday and that you wanted to have a Unicorn Birthday party. Also, on January 1st, on our way home, we saw some friends and we stopped and talked to them. My friend has a daughter (5 years old) and you spoke with her, I saw you! I know that we still have a long road to go through but all these little things give me hope. You are so brave my beautiful love. I'm patient, I'm here to help you and I'm very positive and very sure that before next year you will be talking. This is your year my love... God's got this.

Diciembre 5, 2018 My beautiful Suri, mi niña hermosa... Today, you used your loud voice with Samantha, your therapist!!! Im so excited, I always knew that you could do it... I didn't even forced you to talk to her with your loud voice, I just told you to go and be positive and listen to her and if you want you could talk or whisper and you TALK with your loud voice.  Samantha said there were sort answers BUT thats a huge improvement. That showed me that we are in the right direction and if I was positive before, today I feel super very positive, I know she can help you, I know you trust her because you talk to her, I know you soon will be able to bring out that brave voice that lives inside you. In school you are doing great! you are communicating a lot via note (writing in your notebooks) and that give me a piece of mind because I know that you won't get bullied and that if something you will be able to communicate it to your teachers. I love you mi niña hermosa, step...

11/27/18 Princesa de mi vida, ayer tuvimos el appointment con Samantha en la clinica, fueron como 5 largas semanas del intake process pero ayer finalmente ya tuvimos nuestro ultimo meeting con ella y una vez mas nos confirmo lo que ya sabíamos: Mutismo Selectivo Al contrario de la vez que te diagnostico Dr. Bulman esta vez fue diferente, ya yo sabia, ya estaba preparada y pude entender mejor... no sabes cuantos años luche para que te pudieran evaluar y todo lo que he leído desde tu primer diagnostico hasta el día de hoy... que ya eso fue como un alivio, saber que ya iba a empezar a poder ayudarte de la manera correcta fue un alivio. Samantha me dijo que que habían aceptado tu caso y que las terapias iban a empezar desde la próxima semana. Ella nos dijo también que esta muy emocionada de empezar y que esta muy segura de que tu vas a superar eso. Me dijo que fuiste capaz de susurrarle al oído tu nombre y que eso es un gran avance!! que no todos los niños lo hacen y que eso demuest...

October 24, 2018 Hello my beautiful Suri, "When life gets you down, do you wanna know what you've gotta do? Just keep swimming.. just keep swimming... just keep swimming... " Mi princesa! esa canción es de la película Finding Dory, a beautiful one. And how true it is. Don't let anything, absolutely anything put you down, just keep swimming and you will find the way. Yesterday, we had our first appointment in Yeshiva University with the therapist. Did I loose you? Well, I had everything set up to go yesterday to NYU for our intake interview, as I wrote in the previous journal, and I was excited about that BUT..  I prayed God so hard for Him to show me the right place where you would get the best therapy and He opened the way. This was the first recommendation from Dr. Bulman and he said the clinic and personnel are great but it is also a little bit hard to get a hold on them.. and it was! but for God nothing is impossible and He let me get in touch with them an...

My dearest Suri, Today I woke up completely down, sad, anxious... it must be because Nov. 8 is quickly approaching and I don't want it. It is been a year since we lost our Dylan and today it hurts me a lot... but as I was shedding some tears, I remember your beautiful face and you brought me peace and courage. You are the bravest person in this universe, my love. You had taught me to be brave and to accept our circumstances and to be happy in the middle of our battles... you have taught me far more about bravery than I could ever teach you. Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quite voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow" - Unknown. I had always assumed that courage meant the lack of fear. I was a firm believer that being brave meant extinguished fear. That is, until you were diagnosed with Selective Mutism (SM) one moth ago. It was then that I truly learned that bravery isn't conquering fear, but instead, discove...

10/16/18 Hola Suri, Ojalá algun dia podamos leer este blog porque aquí esta tu historia contada por mi. Le pido al Señor que para cuando lo leas ya estés completamente hablando con todos. Te amo mi niña eso nunca lo olvides, y estare contigo en cada paso sea grande o sea pequeño. Ayer tuvimos nuestra segunda cita con el sicólogo, Dr. Bulman y hoy es un mes desde tu diagnostico. Desde que el te diagnostico he aprendido mucho, el mismo doctor se sorprendió de lo mucho que había aprendido y me dijo "you've been very proactive". Pero haber aprendido tanto me causa dolor porque no me perdono esos dos años que no me di cuenta que algo no estaba bien contigo mi niña. Hoy veo tus fotos y veo la gran diferencia. Cuando estas con nosotros eres feliz, sonríes (tienes la sonrisa mas bella que he visto), haces poses como modelando... eres libre mi amor, eres tu <3 pero cuando estas en otros settings como escuela. fiestas, iglesia.. tu carita cambia mi amor, se te nota tensa,...

Mi hermosa Suri, Yo siempre supe que tu eres una personita especial y si que estaba en lo correcto mi amor. Tu eres 1 de 150!  no mi amor, tu eres 1 en un millón.  1 de cada 150 niños que nacen presentan un problema de ansiedad social que se conoce como "Mutismo Selectivo"  Mutismo selectivo es un transtorno del habla donde las personas que lo tienen son capaces de hablar en lugares donde se sienten cómodos como casa con familia, pero no pueden hablar en lugares donde no están cómodos y no están familiarizados como en la escuela en el caso de los niños. Esta "incapacidad" de hablar se debe a que los niños se sienten ansiosos y eso los bloquea. Aquí hay mas información --> www.childmind.org Ellos no son tímidos, no son rudos, no son tranquilos, ellos son VALIENTES! Mi preciosa Suri, diera todo lo que tengo y mas para cambiar de lugar contigo y que no seas tu la que pases por esto. Te prometo mi amor que te voy a ayudar con todas mis fuerzas, tod...