Courage doesn't always roar...

My dearest Suri,

Today I woke up completely down, sad, anxious... it must be because Nov. 8 is quickly approaching and I don't want it. It is been a year since we lost our Dylan and today it hurts me a lot... but as I was shedding some tears, I remember your beautiful face and you brought me peace and courage. You are the bravest person in this universe, my love. You had taught me to be brave and to accept our circumstances and to be happy in the middle of our battles... you have taught me far more about bravery than I could ever teach you.

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quite voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow" - Unknown.

I had always assumed that courage meant the lack of fear. I was a firm believer that being brave meant extinguished fear. That is, until you were diagnosed with Selective Mutism (SM) one moth ago. It was then that I truly learned that bravery isn't conquering fear, but instead, discovering the strength to move forward despite feeling terrified - and you feel terrified every single day of something most of us brush off with ease: speaking.

You are brave, my love...

I've seen you speaking when you were scared. I saw you asking the guy to paint your face with a butterfly because he was staring at you and not listening to me. I was beyond excited when you said "I'm here" when Ms. Rodriguez called your name for attendance. I felt so proud of you when the director of your summer camp told me that you "spoke" with her, actually whispered to her...

Your are really brave, my princess...

You learned how to cope with your fears and anxiety by yourself... nobody was there to help you just to judge you.. People tried to force you to talk and they sometimes called you "rude" or even said "She has bad manners" but that never stopped you, my love, because...

you are the bravest!

Mi niña, you somehow found the way to go out and play and enjoy life, you passed first grade and you are doing great in second grade because SM does not define you and it will never define you.. You are greater than that.

Today I want to tell you mi niña that it is ok to be scared, it is ok to cry but giving up should never be an option for you because there is always a tomorrow and a new opportunity to "try again" and thats how you will become strong.. 

I'm here for you, we are here for you, my princess.. We will forever be by your side and we together will find that brave voice that lives inside you because the roar is there, even when it sounds like a whisper.

YES, courage can be very, very quiet, courage does not always roar...

- God's got this